Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
