He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
