I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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