Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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