tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
A bitchslap is in order.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
