this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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