We're like a lot better than the average bears
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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