Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
