Do vagina's smell?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
