Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
