once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
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WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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