I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
