I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
