omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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