If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
