Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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