It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
