i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
