do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I die, sorry about rent.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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