and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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