and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm really into asian looking animals
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Randomize
