3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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