im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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