listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
