oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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