guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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