So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I fill condoms, not promises.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
