Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
