where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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