i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
