I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
