laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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