I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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