HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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