this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
