Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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