Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
areolas are like halos for boobs.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Randomize
