sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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