bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
