Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
