This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
