i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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