Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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