I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It all started with a game of naked twister.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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