My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
BRING THE BAGELS
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
