He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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