I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
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In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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