the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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