dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize