I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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