Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
