a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
