I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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