road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
The air taste purple.
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