First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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