we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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