I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize