There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize