Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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