How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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