capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my being single is dangerous.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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