Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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