I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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