i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
