Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
