Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
