Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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