I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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