He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
